Posts by concerned mama

14

Defensivness

by restorebeauty in

.

hey everyone,.

i have never been a jehovah's witness, but i've dated someone who is and i have a few clients who are.. my comment and question is this, i've noticed that witnesses who aren't even active get very defensive when asked a question or a comment is made about the religion.. did any of you find yourself before you left getting this way when people asked you about the religion.. restorebeauty.

concerned mama

Hi Restore,

Nice to meet you. I'm not JW either. As a "worldly" person this defensiveness adds one more element of confusion in trying to have a serious discussion about religion with someone who is ....how should I put it.....a wavering JW.

The young man I know would complain about the way he has been raised and state how desperately unhappy he has been not to be allowed to do certain ordinary things, like play in an organized competitive hockey league or visit with school friends after school hours. He stated that he thought there was nothing wrong with doing those things. Yet, he would also say that the best kids are JW, and that is still the best way to raise children. If I tried to get him to think about what he was saying, and how it really didn't follow logically, he would just shut down.

It must be a giant mental leap to be able to think critically and logically about the teachings of the Watchtower.

81

My B/F told me he's a J/W after months of dating!

by Funky_Diva_53_2000 in

hi, i'm 17 and i've just recently become a member of this website and i want you to know what has happened to me over the past months.back in sep/oct 2001 i started chatting to a 20 year old bloke via the internet and we developed a great friendship over the net.we would talk online for ages,text and phone each other loads,we sent each other photos of ourselves and he would often put his webcam on for me to see.before i knew it he played a great part in my everyday life...and i spent so much time chatting to him that my college work suffered a lot & i wasn't doing my coursework (i eventually got told to leave as i hadn't done loads of the assignments and stuff & had fallen behind).

after about 6 months we arranged to meet up (i made sure my parents were at home coz i know it's dodgy to meet people from the internet).anyway,he came round my house one evening in march and we got along soo well...he lives quite locally too which was good.our friendship then grew into a relationship and we started dating and going out together,i was sooo happy and i fell for him in a massive way & he said he felt the same way too.to me,he was a girls dream come true...he was kind,caring,fit,good-looking & gentle and i loved him to bits!,i still do,and i thought we'd be together forever.

something that i did find a bit strange though was i hadn't met his family yet or heard my boyfriend talk much about them.i would question him about his family but he seemed to get a bit funny about it and when i mentioned about meeting his family he said something along the lines of ''they're a bit strange,you might not like them'' (or something like that anyway).that got me thinking and i though prehaps they lived in a run-down place or something,or they wern't very nice people and i thought my b/f could be ashamed to let me meet them.i thought to myself to give him time & he'll see that i'm an understanding & nice person and hoped that he would soon come out and tell me what the problem was (thinking it was about what i've just mentioned).

concerned mama

Funky Diva,

It took great courage and strength of character to break off your relationship with this man. I have no doubt that you did the right thing in moving on with your life.

It might be trite to say it, but time is a great healer. Consider yourself hugged.

concerned mama

20

bad associations spoil useful habits? huh?

by knighthawk1981 in

jw
friends

what does bad associations spoil useful habits actually mean....what are the bad associations and what are the useful habits

concerned mama

Do you have any idea how insulting this is to a worldly person???? Everytime I hear this it just infuriates me. I fully admit that in our situation, I take it very personally. My daughter is a goody two shoes (except she won't break up with this boy) and her JW boyfriend is considerably wilder than she is, so, just who is the bad association here??????????????

A lot of the JW jargon is insulting to worldy people. So JWs are in the truth, I guess I am in the lie. Huh?????

I suspect that if JWs talked in their theocratic language to worldly people more often, it would alienate more people a lot faster.

2

What Lies Have U Told?

by Larry in

jw
friends

what lies have u told?.

i can recall telling several lies to 'wordly' folks for not attending holiday events, going out for drinks, taking a sick day for some 'spiritual' activity, eating birthday cake, etc.

in fact we use to take pride in telling 'white' lies for the sake of the kingdom service, including taking pride in the way our children told lies in the same manner.. what lies have you or your children told for 'sacred service?

concerned mama

Since I am "worldly" , I happily enjoy birthdays and have no reason to tell lies about avoiding celebrations of any kind.

However, the number of white lies told to my daughter by her JW boyfriend when they first became involved is what made me start looking into the JW religion. It comes down to the double life that the kids live, in order to try to fit in. Leading a double life is so deceptive. Deception becomes a way of life. How trustworthy is that person? They live a lie.

5

Article on JW girl in Calgary Sun

by Kenneson in

jw
friends

.

the article in the calgary sun is entitled "jehovah girl's secret treatment still ongoing.

" interestingly, the girl's father has been forced to divorce his wife in order for the judge to grant him access to seeing his daughter.. http://www.canoe.ca/calgarynews/08n3.html

concerned mama

Oh, this is just dreadful. That poor father.

49

What is a JW childhood like?

by knighthawk1981 in

jw
friends

i was wondering what it is like to experience childhood in the org.

i am an aspiring writer ad the org has always interested me...not in the sense that i'd like to join.

please send me some replies.

concerned mama

As a worldly person, of course, I can't speak personally.

My main observation of the JW teenagers I am know is that they live complete double lives, and think it is perfectly normal.

They act as ordinary as possible at school (as long as their parents aren't around), don't tell anyone they are JW, and make up plausable excuses why they can't do things with other kids outside of school.

Someone who lives a lie, and thinks it is OK to be deceptive, may have trouble maintaining honest relationships in the future. I don't know?

concerned mama

35

DO you REALLY think this is THE END OF JW's?

by minimus in

jw
friends

everytime a new revelation comes to the board, some suggest that this is the big one.

whether it be the blood issue, the u n debacle, the silentlambs saga, some cryptic comment about jw's and their involvement with churches, it seems like nothing effects the jehovah's witnesses rank and file.

personally.

concerned mama

Jelly, you are right on.

As a worldy person, if I hadn't had a need to learn about JWs I would been like all the rest, just as you said, basically not caring and just thinking they are weird. Which they are.

concerned mama

31

JW girlfriend

by JohnZogby in

jw
friends

hello, i am new to this site, and i am dating a jw.

however, my experience has been quite different from that of others doing the same thing.

unlike other posts that i have read, her parents (we are both 18) are supportive of her relationship with me, she is quite open minded when it comes to social activities, she has both jw and non-jw friends, and is a totally "normal" 18 year old girl.

concerned mama

John,

My teenage daughter has a JW boyfriend. His family is extremely opposed to his relationship with her, and to be honest, I'm not too keen on it myself. He is a very sweet boy, but comes with too many complications, exactly as has been talked about on this board.

Good luck. It sounds like she is from a very non-typical, open minded JW family. I didn't think there was any.

25

Soooo not out! Talking to an ex-jw...

by detective in

well, i damn near put my foot in it this evening.

a friend of mine who is well aware of my continuing friendship with a jw (now allegedly ex-jw) told me i should meet an ex-jw that he knows.

i felt pretty excited about meeting an ex-jw face to face as i've longed for a chance to speak honestly with someone who knows the organization well and my friend isn't ready to really discuss the issues yet.

concerned mama

Oh, this is so scary. This person is in limbo. Still afraid and disliking the world, and not JW either. What a sad unhappy existance! I wonder how many people who leave the WT get lost in this never land...afraid of having fun and celebrating and joining the world as it is "wrong", yet not JW anymore, yet in some ways wishing they were.

You are so right, they have to work it all through and figure out the whys and where they want to be or they will never be happy. So difficult when their mind is slammed shut.

28

Confused

by AlphaPlus in

this is gonna take a while so bear with me .... i dunno where to start.

well i'm still a jw, still going to meetings etc although you do feel pretty bad sitting there knowing you'd like to be any place else.

like i've read from so many of you i've been the perfect jw kid excellent meeting attendence, good field service blah blah all that crap.

concerned mama

Welcome to the board, Alpha,

You are in the right place, and the people here will do their best to help you out.

I have no words of wisdom, as I have never been JW, and I can only imagine how trapped you must feel.

concerned mama